introspection from the first new moon

As the moon waxes in the next several days until the full moon, a lot of introspection and decision-making has been happening in my life. It was during the start of this new moon cycle that I wanted to start making changes in my life and letting the old go.

I’ve held onto pain, sorrow, and anger for far too long and I can definitely say without a doubt that those three things have been holding me back from my potential in creating a new life for myself in this strange, new place I’m warming up to calling home. I can’t move on without first dealing with my demons.

The hurt and confusion from growing up as a child in a spiritually caustic environment has deep roots in my mind and soul. I couldn’t dream without having a waking nightmare and having the rest of my day sullied by the previous night’s shitshow reverie.

I was a different person back then. I’m a different person now. Despite of how much I changed, people will always have some memory of a different version of me. It’s funny how you exist in people’s thoughts even way after you’ve long been with them and perhaps moved onto the afterlife.

Your memory (your existence) never truly dies until everyone else in the world who remembers you die along with it. Unless of course you decide to pass on your legacy to your familial successors.

Introspection is a powerful ability that we all possess. It can be cultivated and developed into a tool that can help heal you, balance you, and even protect you when you really need to shut off from the world. We all need some me time after a stressful day or maybe even after a time of difficulties.

You don’t have to owe anyone your time unless it is necessary for your well-being or something related to your occupation. Sometimes we have to be selfish with ourselves because we can’t always be a hero or savior to everyone in our lives.

We can take a step back to breathe and then try to move forward again tomorrow. It’s literally not a race against time. Heal yourself, balance yourself now so that you can help others in the future wherever you may be.

 

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