I’m entirely out of fucks to give about what people think anymore. Specifically, what people think I should be doing with my life and how I should do things in my life. They can talk, they can suggest, but everything has to fall on deaf ears now. I’m not listening anymore. I can find my own path somehow without all the crappy, shitty, advice that no one seems to be following themselves. This advice is coming from family members, some close friends, and a few acquaintances.
I’ve listened to people for awhile. Took some advice, both good and bad and despite of following the good ones, things didn’t resonate well with me and didn’t fit into my life. Maybe because what they advised isn’t exactly the best fit for me. This is probably why I have a slight distrust of people and also why I keep people at arm’s length because most of the time I feel like I’m either miscommunicating or misunderstood.
I’m 25 years old. Somewhat fresh out of college and I am attempting to keep some positivity in my life by not comparing myself to others and not listening to the naysayers and negative vibes that a lot of people have thrown my way. They say that, I can’t do it or it’s impossible or that I have to live my life a certain way to be successful.
Can I say a little something?
Politely, FUCK OFF.
I’ve been around fake Christians long enough to understand that they project a lot of insecurities as well as their own twisted worldview. Do I need to get into detail? Look up Westboro, Pensacola Christian College, Bob Jones University, and Liberty University. I grew up predominantly in the South but I kept my distance from the Bible-thumping miscreants. Of course, not all Christians are bad but some I’d rather place on mute and ignore when I come into contact with them because they honestly are not worth the energy or time to engage in conversation with. No one wins with them. It’s lose-lose. You come out of the conversation exasperated and riled up and you don’t feel any better about yourself because you’re always going to be wrong in their eyes. So, that’s why I’ve elected to ignore the majority of said fake ass Christians. And moving forward….
People are always going to question what you believe in and why you believe in it. Personally, I think you need to understand what you believe and why you believe it so you can defend yourself and stand your ground, like a fucking tree. Make them move, not you. You control how you perceive the world and you are an autonomous human being with the ability to make decisions and choose. Choosing how you live your life, how you believe, how you perceive other people, ideas, beliefs, and different things in this world. You get the idea. It’s like a choose your own adventure RPG.
I’ve been under a “Christian” household for most of my life and I think I’m going through a quarter life crisis or….. some sort of transformation or something (laughing my ass off).
I’ve lived my life pleasing people almost sycophantic to a point. It’s not pretty. It’s not a pleasant thing to do. You feel as if your identity belongs to someone else and that you’re not your own. Fuck that….. fuck anyone who says I can’t live my life differently than the rest of the people on this planet. I have one life to live and one shot to do all the things before the light at the end of the tunnel or some shit…. or the pearly gates.
To be quite honest, for some reason I go to Heaven one day, I’d like to separate myself from all the other Christians that have died and not associate with them up there. Maybe a quiet little meadow or something by myself and maybe with some of my good Christian friends (one in particular who’s a buddy of mine from high school). Maybe just me and him. The rest of everyone else I don’t really care for. (Insert Bible verse about a Christian separating themselves from other Christians and being like a lump of coal that won’t get near as much as warmth [or none at all, but I’m a self-starting charcoal tablet] as all the other Christians who are bundled together like a Kingsford Original).
Jokes aside, maybe I’m just having a shitty Saturday night.